the life of a nerd.


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   Saturday, March 30, 2002  
song of today: r kelly/jayz - take you home

i didnt get to go to canes! boooooooo to that..i woke up and hung out with irene..we went to the mall to get her brother some lotion and shit..we picked up noriza and went to my house..we sat around and did nothing..around 9..randy and matt came to pick us up to get food..we went to burger king but ended up just getting fries at mc donalds..haha..we went to jae'bos in woodman and waited for jers,kevin,ian and alain..kevins a cutie when they came we just ended up sitting there doing nothing still..haha..noriza gave them her fries and i felt stupid cus right after i go "you guys want some fries!"..they were like "nah its coo..we got some already thanks twinkle"..and being the stupid person i am..i didnt realize that noriza gave them her fries and i go "WOW! whatta coincidence! you guys went to mcdonalds too!"....::hits head::...great!..oh well..after we went to annas and just drove by..we dropped off noriza and went to starbucks and matt got me a drink..i decided to just go home because there was nothing else to do..plus they had to go back to annas to give her their drinks..in case you havent noticed..i always do my entries the next day rather then the end of the night.....GRrr..=/
   posted by twinkle at 10:53 AM


   Thursday, March 28, 2002  
song of today: mc hammer - cant touch this

today was an outstanding day..i woke up at 10..and i felt quite refreshed..i went online to plan a bonfire with noriza..i wasnt going to have it at first because everyone was telling me that it was gonna rain..but then rally told us that he would take us to get the wood and shit..so i told whoever wanted to go..to just go..and i got ready and went to norizas around 5..i got her house and there were like 8394823482304832048 million people at manila tokyo..i was like what the fuck!?..rally and them came and when we went outside..rally said that ree and ben were down the street trying to meet the "HUNKS" or whatever..hahaha..anyways..we left and went to ralphs to get lighter fluid and left to go to the bonfire..the crates were so heavY!..me noriza and ree only carried one..hahaha..people didnt start coming till 8..i was like what the &$@^..not much people went..but to those who did go..THANKS FOR STOPPIN BY!! haha..we kept running out of wood..but thank god for the other people who were there..they let us take however much wood we needed for our fire..there ARE good people out there..Em went today!..i havent seen him for a while..and when i did..i dont know..it was just really cool..hes a great person..and super cute..well we all chilled..gwyn kept fuckin with all the lighter fluid..that bastard..hahaha..we left early cus cops were there and some people werent 18..didnt wanna get busted and shit..so i just ended up going home..here i am..its pretty early but im tired anyway..goodnight folks! tomorrows another day =) canes here i come!!!! muahahah.
   posted by twinkle at 1:29 PM


   Tuesday, March 26, 2002  
i say a little prayer for you

its really hard to keep up this blogger business i'll tell you..so yesterday was brians birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN!!..woo hes the big 18..we didnt get to hang out though..instead i went to my friends dinner gathering..i was going to go hang out with him after but then everyone decided to go bowling..its okay..i know i can just hang out with him some other day..bowling was SOOOO confusing!!!!!!! we didnt know what the hell we were doing with the whole score board business..but i DID hit a few pins!!..:D..so anyways..i get home and im BEAT..i think it was all that food i had..i talked to brian for a while then just went to sleep..today though..today was a killer..i woke up..and did my usual business..which was go online.. i had a dentist appointment today..i came home with my mouth severly bleeding..and REALLY NUMB!!! i just sat around and complained about how much i was drooling..YEAH I KNOW THATS SEXY!! noriza came over to hang out with me..oh and by the way..SHE PASSED HER PERMIT TEST! im so proud of her.. :) well..we watched my bestfriends wedding..its so sad..it made me think of brian..considering he is my bestfriend..i dont know what i would ever do without him..i love that guy so much!!..after the movie i called him..it got me sad! matt also came by and brought some food over that he bought for us..what a pal!!!! haha..i was supposed to go to sixflags with brian,jenny, edmond and all of them tomorrow but no can do..theyre worried.....NOT ABOUT ME FOLKS! dont be fooled.....but about my toof..har har..i guess thats all....its 10:26 and i guess i'll just hit the haystack...........too early you say??????? ITS NEVER TOO EARLY TO SLEEP!

*If only I had one wish..I’d want a million trillion life times that I could spend with you..fall in love with you again and again........ ;) *


   posted by twinkle at 10:27 PM


   Monday, March 25, 2002  
continuation of last night

well last night..right after i wrote in my blogger..my cousin and her boyfriend called me up..and picked me up..we went out and went clubbin..my cousins boyfriend even bought us drinks..and boy was i WASTED..not so much as to not be able to walk..just enough to know i was..so we were at the club..i was chillen..dancing..gettin my GROOOVEE on..when this guy comes and taps me on my shoulder..i turn around and he knocked me off my feet..and i mean..he literally knocked me off my feet..because as soon as i turned around he started break dancing and he swerved against my legs making me lose balance..he got up and grabbed me back up and apologized..i was drunk so i didnt mind that much..we started dancing..i showed him my harlem..he loved it..i can tell because he said "i loved it"..i couldnt hear him over the loud ass speakers so we texted each other while we were dancing..its hard to text and dance at the same time..but i mangaged..boy did we dance the night away..after we talked for a while near the bar..and he told me that hes a model..and i said.."you mean.....like derrick zoolander?!?"..and he said "who the fuck is that?".. i felt rather red..i dont know if he was joking..but he said to me "listen..why dont you go derri-lick your balls"..to which i replied.."i can derri-lick my own balls...." it got quiet..and he said "what the hell are you talking about?"..and i said.."you know? thats what hansel said to zoolander afterwards.."..i can tell right away he didnt watch the movie..and challenged me to a walk off..of course i won..i had buttoned up thongs..he gave me his number..but i dont think im gonna be calling that guy anytime soon..THAT FREAK!!...that was the end of my night at the club..

NOTE TO SELF: do not go to canes
   posted by twinkle at 12:45 PM


   Sunday, March 24, 2002  
song for today:madonna - dress you up in my love

i dont know why i chose that as my song..but who gives a fuck..anyways..today was a pretty simple day..i woke up and watched riding in a car with boys..its a good movie..i suggest you get it..it teaches you a lot about things..AND is funny..what a great combo..i also watched ZOOLANDER..oh yeah baby..brian called and we chatted..just as we always do..i left to go to the mall with my sister to buy alana her birthday gift..then went to alanas..we stayed and ate a griploads..we left and went to church..norizas hot boy jeremy was sitten behind me..haha..i went home and did noooottthinggggggg..sang kareoke until my sisters fiance took over..and they started singing cant touch this..hahahah..thats it..the end..goodnight folks..
   posted by twinkle at 9:53 PM  
song for today:ashanti - unfoolish

i havent wrote in here for a while..ummmm nothing much has happened..yesterday was a pretty crazy day..hahaha..::shrugs::..i saw him yesterday..he went inside esthers house to use the bathroom..i thought roxanne said "can calvin use the bathroom" i was like what?..and i turned around i was like OH shit..and so i said hi..and he went to the bathroom..he came back the living room and we small talked and he left..today was a pretty chill day..irene came and we picked up noriza..we headed to the mall and guess what i got..these cool freshener things for my room..anti bacterial lotion.....ANDDDDDDDD.....ZOOOOOOOLANDER!!!!!..yes i love that movie..anyway..we go to emercyl and me..emercyl..maryjo and noriza ride with edmund to the eastlake party..it was super crowded..and i was so lost..i didnt know who to go to..hahahah..everyone was everywhere..by the time we were about to leave i saw him with his usual group..i went over there and talked to matt for a while..i was gonna say hi but then we went to leave..we picked up jenny and went to sergios..i ate like a motherfucker..hahahaha..after that i just went home..im trying to write fast so i can get off..hahahah goodnite! BYE!
   posted by twinkle at 1:01 AM


   Wednesday, March 20, 2002  
song for today:alicia keys - womans worth

my day went by like a boomerang!..i went to school..did my thang..and went home..tada..nothing more nothing less..i ate some cake and hung out for a while when i finally decided to take a nap..i woke up around 7 and started watching tv..i was trying not to go online today but i decided..what the hell..why not??..so i go online..and chat to a couple of people..i talked to some people about some of the things thats been on my mind..and they told me the reason why i feel this way is because of all the change thats happening between me and my bestfriend.. ::shrugs:: i dont know if thats true..but oh well..he never responded to me about anything..didnt even talk to me today..so i guess thats it..thats the end of it all..but i know there are plenty of other people that are just as interesting..like for instance..that master of bation..hes a cool guy..maybe im just trying to keep my eyes closed..hopefully spring break will prove that..im supposed to chill sometime with that john character..he said we'd get boba so if he gets shy he can just sip and look around..haha silly guy..i told him..i'll just spit my balls at him..i dont even think that came out right..meeting new people is a great thing..goodnight folks..
   posted by twinkle at 10:29 PM  
thoughts

secrets revealed,nothing solved
heres the locked door to my soul.
i took the keys and swallowed it
down to the bottomless pit
of my stomach
time to move on
my life slowly coming to a complete stop
no one to talk to from keeping me sane
who will be there to talk me out of
ruining my life
when will i find someone who can be there for me
just like you were there for me at some point
when will i be 100% happy again
somehow the questions are never answered
   posted by twinkle at 9:42 PM


   Tuesday, March 19, 2002  
March 18, 2002
not much happened..went to school..went to my classes..went home..hahaha oh boy..well afterschool i got in a fight with some girls up my street who were trying to start shit..i was on my way to check my mail when some girl comes up to me and says "youre twinkle right?"..and i said "yeah whatchu got on my foetee"..(ok no i didnt say that). i simply replied with a "yeah i am..why?"..and she goes.."i heard you fucked mah man"..and i said "i didnt fuck NO ONES man fOO yer trippen"..and she goes.."wanna chunk em?!"..and i said.."what the hell is a chunk em..why dont you just come right out and say IMA BEaT YOUR ASS"..and she says "i aint playin bitch"..so i said to her..do you know what an electric pop feels like?..and she says no..and i go.."well heres how it feels BIITCHHHH!!!!"..and then ::POP:: right in her face..yeahhhHH thats what she gets..i mean she was only 2 inches tall..i get inside my house..and my mom was like "hOY! what was dat?!"..and i said..nothing just popped a bitch in the face.. and my mom goes "i taught you well.."..i went home and my day went by pretty fast..i talked about a few things with my sister..and went online..he signed on..so i decided to IM and say hi..we talk for a while..just as we always do when we talk online..hes such a cool and funny person..im glad i got to talk to him because lately my lifes been on the "ehhh blah" side..it feels good to talk to people who can make you smile..
   posted by twinkle at 11:26 AM


   Monday, March 18, 2002  
the sentimental side of me

penny for my thoughts anyone???...i just got done reading "the notebook" by nicholas sparks..i think anyone who is a hopeless romantic would love his books..it had an ending that i would have never imagined possible..i bet you anything i would have started balling if i finished reading it at home..i had to hold it in because i was in class..hahaha..im such a wussy when it comes to reading about other peoples love lives..i know for a fact though..that i probably wouldnt want a love story like the ones i read in books..id like to take the time out and write in a couple of the things that i found interesting in the book..

Be composed-be at ease with me...not till the sun excludes you do i exclude you, not till the waters refuse to glisten for you and the leaves to rustle for you, do my words refuse to glisten and rustle for you.

nothing is ever really lost, or can be lost, no birthm identity, form-no object of the world, Nor life, nor force, nor any visible thing;...the body, sluggish, aged,cold-the embers left from earlier fires,...shall duly flame again

when i see you now-moving slowly with new life growing inside you-i hopeyou know how much you mean to me, and how special this year has been. no woman is more blessed then me, and i love you with all my heart.

in times of grief and sorrow I will hold your hand and rock you, and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry, I cry, and when you hurt, i hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods of tears and despair and make it through the potholed streets of life

..i know, there could never have been another. I knew it then, and i know it now. And in that moment i whisper aloud,"I am still yours,allie,my queen, my timeless beauty. You are and always have been, the best thing in my life"

the last selection was just something i found myself reading over and over again..its just something i think..would be nice if someone had thought that about me..thanks for reading this..goodbye..
   posted by twinkle at 10:57 AM  
March 17, 2002..Sunday
i woke up at 9:30..i was still tired..i dont even know why i woke up so early..i called up my bestfriend..just curious as to what he was doing..he was with his parents..we talked for a while then got off..i ate breakfast and sat around being lazy..i took a shower and went online..hardly anyone was on..i got off to get ready for my niece birthday party shindig..i left with my sister and when i got there..they were playing some mad ass tunes leme tell you!..i called up noriza and talked to her the wholeeee time..we talked about the stupidest shit..even dwelled a little..after all the things we were talking about..we dont understand why no one would want to be with us..we are very interesting people..noriza even pointed out how ducks dont taste like chicken..i told her "of course it doesnt taste like chicken...its a duck"..my sister called me retarted..im not retarted..JUST SPECIAL..i said something stupid..i forgot what it was..it left me feeling flushed..and after a while i said "i feel like im turning red..and im not talking about all the pizza sauce on my face..i get home and go online..talked to a couple of people..and signed off..i called my bestfriend..but someone called him so he got off the phone with me..thats odd?..i end up calling lloyd..and i talk to him about some stuff thats been on my mind..and he shares his problems as well..its good to know that there ARE people out there you can talk to..i got off the phone with him and it started raining hard..i saw lightening..that shit scares me..grrr 187 lightening 187
   posted by twinkle at 10:48 AM


   Saturday, March 16, 2002  
Song of today: nelly furtado - im like a bird
well well well..today was a looooooooonnngggg day..i woke up at 6:30 cause i had to go to saturday school..YIPPIE..man our teacher turned on the air conditioner..NOT hair conditioner..AIR..and so it was fu fu fu fu fureeezing!..im almost done with my book..yay me..after that..crisel just dropped me off home..i get home..and i go online..i was talking to no one..actually i was staring at the blank screen..he signed on..i was debating if i should IM him or not..i was shy..haha..but i packed up my balls and did it..he told me hes going to disneyland tomorrow..whatta lucky ass!..but he thinks its boring now..i think its because hes so manly..hahah..we didnt talk for hours..but we did have a pretty interesting conversation..i think either him or his hamster stinks up his place..i couldnt figure out which one it was..but it was sure confusing me..that i got him confused?..hes a really cool person..very amusing..and good looks..nicely dressed..quite intriging if you ask me (i spelled that wrong =/) my cousin annie came..and was rushing me..i told you folks..im not RUSSIAN!..so eventually i had to get off..its okay..i wasnt talking to him anymore anyway..we went to go pick up roxanne..and headed to my cousins..we ate..and got cool ass birthday bags!! complete with candy AND toys!..hELLLOOOOO? im HOW old now???? ahh well fuckkkkkkk it..it makes me happy..we left to go pick up noriza and went back to my cousins party..some people have just been having this hissy fit for a while..we head to mlk park and get a hold of esther..we went to her house..and we had the funnest time!..we wanted to see how far your missed calls can go..we thought 100..but it only goes up to 99 folks!..my cousin also made her own "whats wrong with the picture"..she put pandesal in a bag where oranges go..she put fruits in the lamp bowl..and put the napkin holder on top of the chips to make it look like a big ass paper clip..when verni came we went to jaebos to meet up with ian and company..we saw a couple people also..anywho..we went to roxannes to give her sister something..waited a long ass time for ian and company and finally left to that party..we got there and BOY WAS IT POPPIN!!! (sarcastically)..it was okay?..we didnt stay long though..didnt want to..so we went to mc donalds and got food..we went back to the party and picked up roxanne..we ended up going to esthers..we waited so long..and they were there the WHOLE time! we went to starbucks..hung out for a while..and then ended the night..boy am i pooped!!!!!!!! good night folks!!

highlights for tonight

- finally got carded for ciggs
- "lets try see memory capacity for a 3390"
- "i love visine..i can eat it morning noon and night"
- went up to 99 missed calls on my phone
- "i have to go......pee that is"

   posted by twinkle at 11:24 PM  
Song of today: michael jackson - butterflies


march 15, 2002

the day started out pretty typical..nothing new..same old..there was going to be another fight today at lunch...geeez..whats up with that?..i dont get it..then the fire or disaster bell started ringing..i think Ms. Davis was getting mad because we werent doing shit about it..ah well..WHO CARES..i get into 5th..and we didnt do much..me and juan were matching! hahaha..what the hell..i gave him the rest of my skittles..its the best i can do..hahahah..mikey took me and noriza to my house..whatta pal! 3 days in a row..haha..we get to my house and we try to figure out what to do..we ate a good meal..and felt so bloated after..why do we always do that?? eat our asses off..then when we're bloated..jenny picks us up to go out..we went to jaebos to meet up with verni, esther and roxanne..jers, alain, luther, kevin, ian and their one other friend was there too..man..it was really cold out..and i was wearing a sweater!! geezus mageezus..i found out that he knows that i think hes hot and all that other stuff..what sucks is..people are telling him that i like him..note to others: i dont like him..i hardly know the guy!..im just fasinated with his looks and his cool personality.. well..we finally left jaebos and went to arleighs house..we hung out across the street and jacked michelles stuff..hahaha..from where i was standing a took a glimpse of him..boy was he looking cute..::sigh::..we left and went to annes..and did the SAME shit..only in a different corner..we finally decided what we were going to do..we tried to head to starbucks but all these cops were out loitering..i didnt have my I.D...good job twinkle..ah well.. we went to sergios to get us some yumy food and ended up going home..and BOY was my food hard..and im not talking about what boys get in their pants..i tried my best to eat it all..my sister came home..so i had to get out of her room..she looked craaaaaaaaaaanky!..i got myself ready to bed..i was gonna call my bestfriend..but i just ended up going to sleep..what a great night..i got to see him again!..i didnt think i was..
   posted by twinkle at 12:52 PM


   Thursday, March 14, 2002  

this is john! hahaha..he drew a self portrait of himself
   posted by twinkle at 10:52 PM  
song of today: rufio - One Slowdance

today was a pretttttttttttttttty exciting day let me tell you!!...nothing much happened during class..except..when i was in 2nd..and i was eating my WANNABE lunchables..(grr i had no choice)..and then this girl..im not saying any names..straight comes up..and takes some..and im just sitting there staring at her and i go "What the fuck?"...i didnt even say if she could have some..she just asked..then took it..damn breezy..ah well..it was just a sleazy cracker and a piece of meat..i get to lunch..and me and noriza are just chillen..just how we always do..and next thing you know..this big ass crowd comes over at the far end..and im like "wth?"...i find out..that was my cousin anne..and our friend michelle..my cousin..that rebel..i heard my other cousin..(her little sister)..got a few hits too..those crazy girls!..you never know what theyre up to..but..after that..anne left..and that girl tried looken for her i guess..sayin she wants to beat her ass..i smell trouble..and it doesnt smell like a bunch of roses!..haha..man im stupid.. after that..there were 2347294729374973597 million other fights too..lunch was crazy today..and i almost got raped by my bestfriend..hahaha..jk.. he was getting mad..cause i told noriza his mom packed him some grapes..i think thats cute..HAHAHAHA..nah..i love his mom..shes great..the grapes were great..afterschool..mikey takes me home again..whatta pal..helps a person in need..i get home and go to sleep..i woke up around 6:30..and im still tired as we speak..people who i havent talked to in a while IMed me today..thats cool..i love people who keep in touch..lets me know they havent forgotten me..i met someone today..john?..yeah..weird..he knows my friends..the world IS really a small place..and im not just saying that cause im 4'11..but hes..cool..thats all that happened today..pretty much..time for me to sleep..goodnight folks!
   posted by twinkle at 7:50 PM


   Wednesday, March 13, 2002  
happy birthday dez

well another day has passed..we had our daily disaster drill..i think those disaster drills are pointless..we got out into the field..and it was -2 degrees out..i was freezing like a toast in the oven...WAIT A MINUTE?!....anyways..i just realized that today..i wasnt matching..i hate when i do that..i guess in the morning my visions kind of wacked out..white brown and maroon?..ahh fuck it..who cares..hahaha.. maryjo gave me advil during 5th and it really helped my gum-ache..tooth-ache..whateva..afterschool jenny brought me my boba..yum! cafe mocha with ice cream and BALLS..chewy BALLS..gotta love it!..mikey took me home today cause jo left me again..i can never catch up to her!..geez..i get home..and decided to take a nap..i woke up and i felt great..my toothache was gone..somewhat..anyway..my sister got my niece a little cake.. ice cream cake..to be precise..we sang happy birthday to her..aww shes finally 6..damn..shes getting old..but..i went back upstairs with my cake.. and i totally forgot about it..so now its all melted..DAMIT! hahaha..oh well..i was online..chatting away..and i looked at my buddylist..and i saw that he was signed on..noriza goes "IM him before he signs off!"..hahaha..for one..i am not a stalker..geez louise..but i IMed him..i feel like a dumbass when i talk to him because random shit just pops in my head..my first words to him were "you wanna hear a long joke?"..he replied with a "let me hear it"..and i go "JOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKEEE"...i think that joke is pretty darn funny...boy was i relieved when i saw that he laughed at it..he signed off and after that i thought i wasnt gonna talk to him..so while i was sitting here..looking at my melted ice cream cake..i saw that someone IMed me..i looked and it was him..boy was i shocked!..so i gladly talked to him..stupid me goes "have you ever tried sticking apples in your pants?" ::hits head:: then i think DOH! what was that about twinkle!..geez..i felt so dumb..::shrugs::..so random..oh well..hes a cool guy..and hes cute too?..::sighs::..thats so cool..what a great way to end my night.. ;D
   posted by twinkle at 9:55 PM  
song of today:Dream - how long

There's a place in my heart
That I go when I dream
A place that nobody can see
Every night I see love
I see someone who’s waiting
Waiting for someone like me
He must be out there
Somewhere, someone for me

Tell me how long
‘Till I’m not just dreaming
How long ‘til somebody cares
How long, ‘til I meet an angel
And give him my heart
When can I start
How long ‘till I fall in love

I sit every night
By my window just wishing
And searching for one perfect star
Can anyone hear me
Dunno if you’re listening
Please send him right here
To my arms
He must be out there
Somewhere, waiting for me

Tell me just how long, will it be...

Tell me how long
‘Till I’m not just dreaming
How long, ‘til somebody cares
How long, ‘til I meet an angel
And give him my heart,
When can I start
How long ‘till I fall in love

I’ve always believed
That my dreams would come true
That one of these nights
He would appear
He’d be here in my arms
I see it all, so clearly
How it could be
I wish he was kissing me now...
   posted by twinkle at 6:07 PM  
some thoughts

im in 4th period..as usual..i didnt sleep till 3 o'clock in the morning last night.. all because my gums were hurting..IT SUCKED!..i kept trying and trying to fall asleep.. and everytime i started to fall asleep..it would start to throb again..i was talking to brian around 11..i tried so hard to make conversation..but it hurt too much..so i got off the phone with him..he told me to call if i still couldnt sleep..so around 1..i called him back..he was sleeping..i felt bad..but he still decided to talk to me anyway..i just listened to him tell me about asb..and some other stuff..i tried to reply..or even laugh..but everytime i did..it would hurt..i was thinking a lot about our friendship while i was listening to him..and im really glad we're friends again.. because honestly..i dont know what i would do without him in my life..i missed him a lot the past couple days we havent talked..hes the only one that actually laughs at my stupid jokes..the other day when we were talking about our situation..he was telling me..he didnt like reading my blog..because id write about why i didnt have a boyfriend..and how much he knew it could be him..he also admitted..that he wouldnt want me to tell him everything "guy" wise..because he knew he couldnt take it yet....i read his blog at times..and i think to myself..im not as perfect as he thinks i am..
   posted by twinkle at 11:15 AM


   Tuesday, March 12, 2002  
song of today:Ben E. King - Stand by me

today was a pretty typical day..we had a fire drill..everyone in my class started screaming for joy..as if something great happened..weirdos..but..i dont know..lately ive been feeling trapped..so much stuff is going on in my head..i dont know where i should start..i took some time out to sit and think about a few things..and it just sucks because now..i dont know if i have any real friends that can give me any feedback to whatever my problems are...i've gotten myself into so many things..i dont know how to get out..last night..my bestfriend said something to me..that really kicked me in the gut..it was the worst anyone..especially him..could have said..he says he didnt mean it..but in a way..its like..what am i left to think?..we're still friends..but i can honestly say..that yes..im still hurt..i'll get over it..i know i will..today..i had a bad ass toothache..and no one even cared..i hate how people cant take me seriously sometimes..i know i fuck around a lot..but people should be able to tell and not laugh at me when im serious..right now im in a position..where i dont know who my true friends are..i mean..who talks shit behind my back?..who defends me when i need it the most?..im tired of the attitudes i get back from people..i know i do it too sometimes..but i dont do it intentionally..and when i do..i find a way to let them know..that i do care..and that i was jut being an idiot..im tired of having to feel like people dont take my friendship into appreciation..i try my best to go out of my way not only to make me happy..but to make my friends happy..i try so hard not to make them mad at me..but for some reason..they always do get mad at me..reality check..social gatherings arent the same as it was before..i know i used to be a party type person in the past..and i always try to go back to it...i always try to talk to everyone like we used to..but now its just not the same..and i have to realize that was the past..i am not the same person i used to be..and it sucks because i am not the only who has changed but some of my friends have changed as well..im tired of doing thngs just because i felt like..that was what i had to do in order for everything to be okay..dont get me wrong..i am NOT a follower..i am everything BUT that..i dont mind when someone makes a suggestion on what we're going to do that day..but i dont like..when everyone ignores and disqualifies my opinions..i dont like when..im trying to confide to someone about even my most stupidiest problems and all they do is change the subject..::sigh:: all that is bothering me right now about friendship wise..will not stop me from smiling everyday..and being my same old happy stupid self..but it just lets me know that i have to be aware of who will stick by me..and who wont..i hope one day..people will realize how hard i work for my friendships..and how hard i try to make them last..
   posted by twinkle at 10:08 PM


   Monday, March 11, 2002  
song of today: ataris - i wont spend another night alone

well today was a pretty chill day..the sun was out..i loved it!!..welcome spring! haha..all my classes were a drag..except for 6th of course..haha noriza knows what im talking about..luckily i didnt fall asleep in any of them!! ;D..on the way home..carla kept fighting with me..whatta jerk..that shot hog..im gonna get her back tomorrow..i got home..ate..watched some telly..and when to sleep..haha oh man..i woke up around 5 and i forgot if it was 5 in the morning..or 5 at night..i was so confused!!..i looked around..and i was thinking.."oh fuck! i musta fell asleep..cause im still in my clothes from yesterday..and my bed sheets are still fixed!!!!"..but then stupid fuckin me..realized that..NooOO...i took a nap!!..hahaha..man im so retarted..anyways...i went online and chatted with chris like i always do..helped him find some coal..i was talking to noriza..when the greatest thing occured..i heard the sound of someone signing on..and it was him!!!!..and at first i didnt know if i shouldve IMed him or not..but finally i packed up my balls..and talked to him..hes cool..his girlfriend is really lucky =/.. calvin signed on..and i only got to talk to him for a while cause my sister kicked me off..but he was telling me about his trial..hopefully nothing bad happens to him..that would fuckin suck...looks like im gonna have to go picket in front of the court...i went to bed around 11..but couldnt sleep till 12..that fuckin sucks..okay..i'll write more later...peaceee..
   posted by twinkle at 10:12 PM


   Sunday, March 10, 2002  
i would do anything - trg

a guy like you..deserves nothing but the best..thats why im letting you know my loves a cut above the rest..could their be infatuation..no i think not..but i gotta let you know that its my heart that you got..when i see you walk my way..my heart skips a beat..with just one look boy..you knock me off my feet..i know im trippen..i'll prolly never get you..i might be wastin my time but i still wanna get with yah..in my fantasy world..me and you are together sharin a life of romance..the two of us forever..whatever you want boo..you know that i'll do it..i only got one love and im stayin true to it..my heart dies for you..if you only knew..so what you say boo..i wanna be with you..
   posted by twinkle at 5:43 PM  
song of the day:michael jackson - the way you make me feel


well let me tell you about my GREAT weekend


march 8, 2002..friday..me..noriza..cris-ian..calvin..chris..billy and that other dude (i forgot his name)..went to joes crab shack..i got some BIGGGGGGG crabs..and im not talking about the ones in the restaurant..!! haha..FOLKS CALM DOWN!..i was kidding..calvin told billy it was his birthday so billy got to run around on a horse with a crown and a sword in his hands while everyone sang happy birthday!! hahah that was fuckin hillarious..i swear..the guys ate 3 baskets of crackers..and we didnt even eat dinner yet!! haha..after that we left to go to my cousins kick back thing..and when we got there..it was busted..4 coppie cars hanging outside..so we said "FUCKK IT!"..and left.. we headed to T's pad..and everyone was there..it was pretty cool..we left..and chilled in front of the garcias house..and just ended up going back to T's..we all chilled outside..drank a little bit of yummy green apple stuff..i taught sherbo my dance..hes pretty good at it! we freaked the car that nancee and lynda were in..i saw..that one *cute* guy..but i was too nervous to say hi..so when he came i just kind of looked away..DAMIT!..haha oh well its okay..no big deal..noriza and me went into the car..and i did my signals.."left...right..SLLOOOWW DOWNN!!!!!!"...haha..i did it 2840248729472974 million times..after that..i went back outside..talked to jay..made fun of jeffwhore..hung out with matt and the northsider heads..noriza and cris-ian called my cell and made me do stupid shit..i broke calvin off..haha he surprisingly broke me off too..HAHAHAHA curazy..after that he took us home..noriza slept over..whatta crazy night..


march 9, 2002...saturday
well me and noriza woke up..and just chilled..she left to go with her mom..and came back around 6..we sat around until irene picked up at 7:30.. we went to chilis and got some food..and went back to her house to eat and watch movies..at around 11..we went to drop off noriza and stopped by plaza blvd's jaebos..where everyone was there..i saw him again..::sigh:: what the fuck man..grr..anyway..tha took me in his car..and we headed to gracies pad..we got there and she wasnt there yet..so we just chilled outside till she came..we got inside and everyone started at the drinks..damn alkees..hahaha just kidding..i sat around and watched madtv..i decided to sleep at annes..everyone was drunk..it was funny..freakin jers.."im just chilleN!"...i saw em..hes so cute =)..me..mai..rally and roxanne chilled on the stairs and listened to mai's stories..shes so gangster!..from where i was sitting..i could see him..looking all cute and shit..whats up with that..fuck..=T..mai and them left around 2..so i just went to sleep on graces couch until ben and tribal took us home..another sucessful night..at least i got to see you know who..;)


today...SUNDAY
woke up from annes around 11:30 and called cris-ian..he came to annes house..and didnt even give me a chance to take a shower!!!!! that bastard..oh well..
i went with them to go to some persons house in eastlake..after that we went back to the garcias house..and chris tried to make me watch porn on the computer..that dork..hahaha..i even made the garcia family some fish..it has an afro..a gold chain and tattoo that says THUG LIFE..it was neat..we headed to coldstone and i bought cris-ian..noriza and myself..some ice cream..went to norizas to drop it off and went home..im so tired right now..but today was a good day..
   posted by twinkle at 5:05 PM


   Saturday, March 09, 2002  
must i dwell?

why can guys always say im funny..and im weird..and so cool to hang out with..i often think then why i dont have a boyfriend..i am really in no rush to have one..im not going up to every guy saying "hey you..in the green..! yeah youre gonna be my boyfriend"...its not like that at all..its just..people like to have a little someone in their lives..im not the typical girl who likes to call their boyfriends "babe"..or "honey"..more like.."hey you!..hot stuff..yeah..you..come here!"..i thought a lot about it..and..i'll admit here and now that..YES i have fucked up on a couple of relationships in my past..no..i never cheated on any of them..i think of all..that is the WORST..i would never cheat on anyone because it has happened to me before..and let me tell you..the feeling is ROTTEN..so why let it happen to someone else?..i can be in a room full of the cutest guys in the world..and i wouldnt think about it at all..its just..things happen..and what pisses me off the most about it..is that people dont take the time to believe..or even ask me..if its true or not..if you did ask me..id gladly tell you the truth..because first of all..whats there to hide??..there were one or two situations..where nothing bad has come out of it..and that i was just being a stupid teenaged girl..the great thing about that is..we're still great friends..but i have grown out of that phase..and i learned to take things a step at a time..but where is that person who wants to take those steps with me..there was a time in my life..where i thought.."yes! its gonna work out!"..but to my surprise it didnt..and ive always wondered why..i did a lot for him..from making him some neat stuff..to show i care..to..sleeping at 4 in the morning even though i had school the next day..JUST to talk to him..but ::shrugs:: i dont know..it took me a while to get over him..and after him..i tried to "get to know" people..but it just doesnt work..im not picky..not picky at all..i just want someone who can make me laugh so hard..who doesnt care what people think about who he is..and what he does..and can act so stupid it hurts..i met a guy who's like that..but PshH..what are the chances of me with him?!.. -100 out of a 100..i dont know why i wrote all this crap..i guess i just wanted you guys to know..that as much as people talk their shit.. say their stinky rumors..im not a total fuck up..and i can have a good relationship..if youre out there and you see this.. just know..i wont do anything to hurt you..i promise =/
   posted by twinkle at 6:09 PM


   Friday, March 08, 2002  
happy birthday BG!

OH MAN! who saw the episode of friends last night??! shit was fuckin hillarious!! "MY BOSS WANTS TO BUY MY BABY!"..i swear i heard my dad laughing from HIS room! that crazy guy..well not much happened after my last post..except for the fact that i went to lunch and noriza was practically MATCHING me! hahaha..OOh its almost the end of the day..but i bet 6th period is gonna take soooooooooo long!!..grrS!...well i texted tha this morning asking if he was going and he said yeah...SO in his words.."SIK WID IT!"..the only thing that sucks is..BG cant go! wth is that?!..bg..THAT SUCKS BIG TOES! im angry..ITS OKAY! we WILL find a way!!..OH and we're also going to JOES CRAB SHACK!..i told calvn to pretend like its our birthday! haha..whatta crazy mofo! i talked to noriza last night..for a pretttty long while..about our DREAMS! haha huh noriza?! man girls can ONLY wish!!.. we're so stupid..and one more thing...WHY!?!??!?!??!?..i just want to be..GOOD FRIENDS..if you know what i mean?..HAHA jk..gee whiz..i dont get it..frankee called last night but i was so freakin tired..i just didnt talk to him.. hahaha.and nO mai i WASNT talkin to him.. =P..im really excited about today!! i cant wait....to see my cousin of course??? FUCK AN ASB BALL! you HEARD me!..its all about...NON-asb-ers????... hahahaha..you know what i was thinking about.. AHH maN! i forgot! but it was something that would really puzzle a person..FUCK..maybe when i can remember i'll put it on here..ah man! one of my socks have NO garter..haha it keeps falling off my ankles and sliding down into my shoe..=/..i need to get a rubber band!!
   posted by twinkle at 10:57 AM


   Thursday, March 07, 2002  
happy birthday joanne!

man oh man i can NOT keep this up! haha..nothing much happened yesterday..school was boring and all i did when i got home was clean my room..im ALMOST done! hahaha..i just have to figure out where to put all my cows =/..anyways..todays jo's birthday..hopefully we can go out today..so i can take her out to eat..after that im planning on going to janeles to make jello shots for my cousins drink up tomorrow.. man im so freakin excited!!..me and my cousins also have to go tomorrow to chip in and buy her a gift..shes such an expensive cousin..i dont know what to get her!..janele.. tha and all them are going (tha you owe me drinks! haha)..HOPEFULLY the guy i think is cute goes.. man oh man!!..i havent talked to my bestfriend for a couple of days now..i want to..but everytime i feel like calling..everything just keeps running through my mind..so like in Jrs words.."FUCK IT".."I DONT CARE"..haha jk..i dont know..its a pretty gloomy day..and ian called me a grape..I AM NOT A GRAPE! and the thing thats going to suck about my friday is that i have so many freakin tests..wth is that all about??...gay..oh well..after all that it'll ALL go away..OH and good news..i passed my senior portfolio..i can go to prom!! oh and i already have my prom date..hes even a locksmith! ??? okay hahah thats all..i'll write later..PEaZ!
   posted by twinkle at 11:28 AM


   Tuesday, March 05, 2002  

continuation......
   posted by twinkle at 9:45 PM  
song of today: smile - b4-4

just like noriza i can never keep this up =/..not much happened yesterday..except for at lunch..when me and noriza were walking to get a drink..we were talking about people getting all mushy..and i said "he was getting all mushy mushy...and im not even CHINESE!!"..hahaha oh man..i swear we were laughing for a pretty long time..::sigh:: how funny..i brought this victorias secret lotion and i dont think it works well..it makes my hand rough after a while..GREAT!..anyways..ive had a couple things on my mind thats been bothering me..if you want to read go ahead..so i have this guy so called "bestfriend".. we've gotten into conversations where we deal with where we stand..and how i just want to be his FRIEND..and thats it..but what irritates me the most..is the fact that if i mention ONE guy..in ANY way..he gets all "i bet he likes you." or "i bet you like him"...i know hes probably just trying to be a friend but..i cant seem to talk to him about it..and that takes us to the point of what im thinking about now..i met this person..and hes a really cool guy..we get along good..talk every once in a while..i cant say i like him..i cant say i dont..because i really dont know..liking this person would cause a real problem so im trying my best to shake off the feelings..but how can i shake it off..when i talk to him almost everyday?...no one knows of this person..and i think its better off this way..im trying to just stick to whats going on now..i mean i DO have a date with a really HOT guy! ;D..but what the hell am i even talking about..im a loser..if i wasnt..id have a great boyfriend..instead im here..wondering the famous question.."why?"

Ooh baby
Ain't like you to make me smile
Pick me up when I'm feelin' down
When no one else comes around
Ain't like you make me smile
   posted by twinkle at 10:49 AM


   Monday, March 04, 2002  
March 3, 2002

i dont even know what time annie left! i was too exhausted to find out..me and anne woke up around 12.. her and ansel were fighting..crazy people!..rally picked us up to go get something to eat..anne bought carne asada fries..they were good! we ate em at rallys house..after we went with him to the car wash and went to the 99 cent store so they can look for eyebrow shavers..haha..rally dropped us off back at annes..and the garcia family picked me up..we went to norizas and headed to seaport..calvin stopped us so he can balance rocks...haha..we met up with irene and went to the famous magic shop where we visited jed..when we got there he was on break..so we decided to wait..noriza made me have jed get me a rubber pencil..noriza and her crazy ways..he showed us some magic tricks..and even gave us mini sized quarters so we can feel big...we talked for a while and then left..me and jed have a date this weekend..BOY am i excited..hahahha..we got chocolate covered strawberries and met up with the garcias again...we left them to go to my house to pick up money and headed to fashion..i couldnt find shit...ah well.. we saw tha and alain at abercrombie and chatted..theyre hot stuff.. :D..we left and went to walmart so irene can get some crap..walmart is 24/7 crowded..got food at super sergios and went home..jed called when he got off work...he was on his way to borders..NOT for him..JED? STUDY? haha thats funny..sike haha.. we decided what we were gonna watch and got off the phone..i went to play with my presents before i slept..HAHA..and jed called me back..chatted for a while and got off..after i was done with my presents i just went right to sleep..another pleasant day... ;D
   posted by twinkle at 11:11 AM  
march 2,2002

the big day finally arrived..i woke up pretty early...7 o' clock early..and went online to go fix my crap..i woke up noriza..hahaha..we talked for a while..my mom was going psycho man...ian and chris came over to drop off my dress that i left in his friends car...they saw me in my morning mask!!!!! GRR!!!..ahh well..its just ian and chris..hahaha..my complains about my dress..chris, calvin and ian (the garcia family) pick me up and we head onto norizas to get her..we go to fashion to get another dress..finally found one..i get home and i get yelled at about balloons..WTH!?! idont know..but ian and noriza pick up the balloons for me and drop it off at bayview..i get there at 6..and some people are already there..i saw a grip of people that i have never seen in such a long time..even my godbrothers that i was so close to back in the days..the last time i seen them was at their house..and we were making our own little camp area in their room...we started at 7..my performers were great!..arleen sang..and so did amie..WOowie..AND ..the best was my TWINKLES STARS..it was so cool how they put all my songs into one dance..even the theme for sponge bob square pants..and at the end..THEY HAD MY PICTURES ON THEIR SHIRTS!! hahahah..my friends..i love them..my 18 roses and candles were great..FrEeAKIN Kim! i knew she was gonna do SOMETHING with that picture...well kim..i hung it in my room..because it truly was a great gift...the dancing was great..i saw mostly everyone getting their GROOVE on..even me!! haha it was neat..it ended at 11..and we didnt finish cleaning till about 12..i got home with annie and anne..and we opened my gifts..there wasnt one gift i hated..we went to annes house to sleep over..i talked to my bestfriend for a while then went to sleep.BOY was i pooped.. =)
   posted by twinkle at 11:03 AM  
March 1,2002

i decided to post up my last couple days because my computers been fucked lately..anyways..friday..I got home and started working on the things i needed to work on for my party the next day..after i got done with that..noriza..ian..and chris came over..we hung out for a while until someone came home to watch my niece..while we waited we watched fast and the furious..ian and chris played rated x with my nieces barbies..finally my parents came home and we left..we went to ians house and noriza jammed on the drum set..we left to go to norizas house to get her to pick up money..we went to plaza and looked for a dress for me to wear after my formal crap..we got a free slushie from karen! yes THANKS!..until SOMEONE..drank it all..haha oh well it was free anyway..afterwards we went and headed back to ians...noriza FINALLY saw chris' shoulder..hahah..we almost saw him naked..that crazy guy! i even drew pictures in ians litle drawing pad..then went to phils house for his little get together..it was pretty chill...saw a lot of people i havent seen in a while..played a litle tony hawk and then headed home..it was a pretty chill night.. :D
   posted by twinkle at 10:53 AM


   Friday, March 01, 2002  
song of the day:queers - noodlebrain



I get so freakin lazy to do my posts at the end of the night...=/..i dont know if anything interesting happened yesterday..lunch was same old same old..hung out with noriza and our cool pal chris..me and ian took STARSHOTS during 5th period..it was cool..back to today..its march..FINALLY the beginning of spring...you know what comes after that..SPRING BREAK..you know whats in spring break DISNEYLAND..people who have navy ID's get in free..until june! i should go get me some tickets..;D..tomorrow is my BIG OH DAY..im really excited..i just hope people have fun..Noriza told me i shouldnt go to other peoples expectations to what THEY want..because the whole purpose is to get my things done and have fun...shes right..for those who dont have fun..that just goes to show theyre party poopers..i also just found out that some of my roses..cant even make it..for god knows why..but luckily i have FRIENDS who are HONORED to be my rose..thanks! you guys are the best! =P..it ends at 11..so i really hope i do something afterwards..me not having a curfew and all!!..chris is really looking forward to me buying some hot SPAM..hes supposed to bring the lubricants..hahaha..oh man.crazy guy..we're supposed to go to the beach but its really cold out!! oh dear..oh well who cares..i guess i'll go anyways..well i guess thats all i have to write..i'll write some more later tonight..WOO HOO i cant wait till saturday!!!!!!!! BYE! <3
   posted by twinkle at 11:05 AM


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